fuse your aspirations and values into a comprehensive map of your ideal future together
In 2008 my wife and I determined that we had reached a sufficient level of personal maturity and professional stability to start a family. We’re often asked how “let’s make a baby” led us to quit our jobs, sell everything we owned and backpack around the world for 18 months The answer is actually quite simple: connecting with what mattered reminded us of all that mattered. We had long dreamed of traveling the world together, but along the way we got wrapped up in career-building, and for a time we lost sight of what mattered most. In leaving we were following one dream before following another—or so we believed—made it impossible.
“Todd was able to reflect back to me my grand vision in a way that felt clearer and more in alignment with who I was than I was able to”
We all desire relationships marked by adventure and intentionality, not routine and reactivism. We want more constructive engagement and less silence; more “us” and “ours”, less “mine” and “yours”. Those of us that are parents want more empathy and less score-keeping, more intimacy and fewer excuses. We want partnerships that feel more supportive than administrative. We want our actions to be rooted in passion, not obligation. At OUTLIER, our work in life architecture and relationship health starts with an exploration of individual values, goals and needs to clarify and memorialize the most important factors that contribute to a sense of both personal and relational fulfillment for each partner. From there we build.
“Todd’s mix of guidance and friendship sets a foundation that makes you want to jump all in”
Upon returning home in 2010 we started new careers, and quickly grew our family. Bliss. But a few years down the road we became aware of a growing dissonance -something was missing in this otherwise postcard life, and we found ourselves more frequently at odds with each other. Juggling two careers and three small children, we began to notice that our once supportive, intimate relationship was under siege by small resentments, elongated silences and passive-aggressions. I had become overly focused on the financial rewards of my work, and we both had begun to lose sight of what mattered most in our life. We came to realize that from our first decision to quit our jobs and travel before having children, we had been treating family and travel as mutually-exclusive dreams. We had not found a way to integrate them, and we were suffering for it. This realization propelled us into a new view of what was possible for our life together, and within a year we had restructured our careers and created the lifestyle that now empowers us to pursue our love of wold adventure, this time as a family.
Whether you and your partner are ready to draft a plan for pursuing your own big life dreams, or yours is a relationship in need of compassionate repair, change can begin right where you are now, rediscovering your common path, and building a life of thriving together.
where shall we begin?